Healing After A Soured Relationship: My 5 Top Tips for Healing!

Compassion: When Love Turns Sour https://amzn.asia/d/97ab0sd

After the trauma and horrific abuse that I went through, as possibly so many of you have to, I didn't know what to do. I was lost, in a daze and my mind was in a constant brain fog. I didn't trust anyone, my guides or any of the spiritual energies that were there to assist in my recovery.

It took a few days to pull myself together, collate my thoughts so I could form a cognitive sentence to have with people, I was so scared and in fear for my life, that I put of going to the police to speak about the abuse, I had been through and to see if I could have her charged, for what I went through.

1. In this period of time I was also grieving, for what?

My freedom after 3 months of isolation, the relationship that should have been, yet wasn't, I still had my life. It still made no sense, however, I gave myself the space to grieve. Now grieving isn't about weakness, it is very much a strength, to allow yourself the time to cry, especially when you were told to not cry or show emotion.

2. Journaling was my next best friend, especially when I was unable to hold a conversation and the thoughts were racing around in my head, allowing yourself the blank page to write upon, get you out of your head, also putting pen to paper so you can see the story unfold, to cry without justifying the pain, as the page does not judge, criticise or belittle your emotions, so you can write with ease.

3. I searched high and low through youtube for sounds, frequencies, meditations, not to heal quicker, to move the toxic and violent energy out of my energy space at an unhealthy pace, this is where compassion comes in, go easy on yourself, you will heal in time, not in your time, however in time. I watched, listened and slept with different music to heal. It has been 3 years and I do still have flashbacks or panic attacks around some people, to this day.

4. Your memory will come back in to a coherent state of being eventually, where you will be able to form sentences with out having to watch your back, or look for permission to speak. It will come back to you naturally and you will be able to hold a conversation again. When you are feeling frustrated about how you are feeling, be gentle with yourself, because beating yourself up isn't going to do you any good and will only grow your frustration further.

5. Find breathing techniques to be able to assist you when a panic attack happens. The breathwork I use is called the box breath. Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, breath out for 4, hold for 4 and keep on doing this until you feel the panic, tension and anxiety calming within you. There are other methods and the trick is to find the one that's right for you.

Remember; your in control now and falling back into old patterns and behaviours will always resurface and the trick is: to catch yourself before they take a hold and turn them into a positive. For example: Why does this always happen to me? Instead, turn it into; what did I learn from this? The more you catch these unhealthy thoughts and turn them into a positive question, you will slowly change the reaction chemistry in your brain and start to create new neural pathways over the course of 21 days.

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YOUR THOUGHTS LOOP AND WHEN YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LOOP, YOU'VE BROKEN A PATTERN! You are the only one who can do that,

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Staying silent is never good for the soul, as it festers and grows, making you hard and rough, as a mask to survive and you build walls around you, as a security blanket to not be hurt again, this is because you are still hurting.

I remember driving through the countryside and these words came to me: it takes two years to be free from the unhealthy energy of another after the relationship has finished. In saying that healing after severe trauma and abuse does and will take longer.

It has been 3 years and have I fully healed? NO

Will I be healed fully? Only time will tell and each person recovery depends on how much work on the self they are willing to do.

From my experience, I was broken, when I looked into my eyes, my light and sparkle, was gone and had to rebuild myself from the rubble of the old me into a stronger (better version of myself) and with a firmer foundation which to rebuild upon. This for me included stronger boundaries, loving myself more and hating myself less, seeing myself as a worthy, valued, loving and self respecting person in my eyes and soul. It was a combination of believing in myself, trusting in the process and having faith in myself, whilst rebuilding relationships with the invisible world.

So much Love to you Starblossom. You are doing great, be proud of you as you have survived something that was meant to break you, you are a true miracle to still be here at this time!